Leon Ho |
Nod your head if you’ve ever had to ask for help at work, at home or anywhere else. Now, nod again if you’ve ever felt shy or silly when doing so.
I’m sure some of you reading would have nodded twice!
Whether it’s not knowing the answer to a question in class and looking around to see if your classmates knew, getting stuck on a project at work and needing to get additional input from colleagues, or just being in a new city and needing help with directions, we’ve all been down this road before. We may not know what to do, and clearly would benefit with some help, yet we won’t–or are afraid to–ask for help.
Why Are We so Afraid of Asking for Help?
What stops us from seeking the help that we need? Sometimes it might be that we fear requesting assistance as we don’t want to seem weak, needy or incompetent in front of strangers, our peers or superiors.
Especially if you are in a competitive work environment, there is an understandable fear that if you let your guard down, this information about you not knowing will be used against you.
Not to mention, your reputation is at stake. If word got out that you had to seek help of some form, you’ll feel embarrassed or perhaps insecure. You might feel less confident about your abilities and worry what others think of you.
Unfortunately, we all have a natural tendency to judge ourselves harshly–often thinking of situations much worse than they actually are in reality. As a result, we also miss out on a lot of potential knowledge or help. If only we were able to see past all that self imposed negativity!
Seeking Help Is Not a Sign of Weakness
I have a friend by the name of Paul who runs his own company. He started at a young age and is already a very successful business man at age 40.
When I ask Paul to name something he does to stay focused and on track in life, he tells me that he has a life coach. He has regular monthly sessions with a life coach who helps him through different aspects of his life.
“It almost sounds like a counseling session”, I told Paul.
He simply replied, “Yes.”, with a smile.
To Paul, the purpose of having a life coach is to give him perspective and to call out on areas of his life that he may have missed out on or neglected.
He see’s having a life coach as a benefit to his success, and not as a sign of weakness.
We’re Seeing It All Wrong
This got me thinking. Many of us automatically assume that going for counseling, taking self help courses, or seeing a life coach means that something unpleasant has happened or is happening in your life.The word help is regarded as a negative.
But the truth is, if we can turn “help” around to see it as a positive act, then going for any of the above would actually be an empowering act.
You need not be in some dire state to seek change. You also don’t have to be at some terrible dead-end or crossroad in life only to seek help. It may just be that you’re wanting to better improve your wellbeing, or to go through some self development to become a better you.
Read more: The Careful Art of Delegation
Help Is a Good Sign
In Paul’s case, having a life coach helps give him an extra set of eyes so that he can envision his life and plans much clearer.
As a busy working professional, he has many responsibilities to attend to alongside being a father and husband. In order not to burn out or lose sight of his goals, Paul’s life coach acts as a reminder and offers him new insights to problems or situations that Paul may find himself in.
This is applicable to any form of help and not limited to what a life coach can bring to the table. Research has proven that having a support system has many positive benefits, such as higher levels of well-being, better coping skills and a longer and healthier life.
If this isn’t enough to convince you, even the most successful people like Richard Branson and Warren Buffet require asking for help and have other people advise them.
Take athletes for an example. Behind every successful athlete, or any athlete for that matter, is a coach. He or she is there to train and guide them on their path to greatness. Coaches have the ability to point out blind spots and play on the athlete’s strengths.
Seeking Help Is Strength
By taking an active step in seeking help or advice, you’re actually taking control of your life, and not letting external circumstances (or what people think) affect how you behave and perform. It is courageous to accept your weaknesses!
So if you’re at a point in life where you’re wanting some change to happen, or feel stuck in a rut, it’s time to turn your weakness into strength by seeking help.
Here at Lifehack, we’re committed to your personal development. We want to be your transformational coach, to pull you out of that rut so you can be up and going again.
Even if you’re not feeling stuck or at a crossroad, there is always more that you can do to improve and upgrade your life.
Learning never ends. So no matter your age, we’re here to guide you towards becoming a better you.
If you’re keen to take that step towards becoming a you, why not start by subscribing to our newsletter today? You’ll begin a journey of transformation as we guide you through important lessons and Cornerstone Skills that will significantly change your life.
Are you ready to seek help?
Leon Ho is the Founder and CEO of Lifehack, which he started in 2005 as a way to share his personal productivity hacks to make life easier. Since then, he has grown Lifehack into one of the most read productivity, health and lifestyle websites in the world. This article was first published in Lifehack. This Article was first published in www.lifehack.org